This weight loss program is a whole new ball game for me. In high school I worked out because I played sports all the time and had someone to kick my butt, blow a whistle, and tell me to take another lap. Now, I am having to do all this to myself, and I'm not quite the drill sergeant that my former coaches were. Through this program I have realized that I have a very, very, VERY addictive personality. I like things the way I like them because...well, I just do.
This week I am working on rewiring my brain a bit. Until now I have always wanted the most. Oh, geez, how this has piled the weight on me. I can look back on meals that I have eaten and remember the little voice in my head. It goes as follows:
*We ordered pizza and it just arrived. It's still piping hot!! Covered in all the most amazing toppings and cheese!! I take it to the kitchen and grab the biggest plate I can find because I'm really convinced that I'm so hungry that I could eat a piled plate the size of Texas. I open the box and size up all the slices. Do I go for the smallest piece?!?! HECK NO!!! I want the largest one with the most toppings. I want the best!! Once that one's on my plate I realize it looks lonely on that big plate....all alone, getting cold....poor thing!! It needs a buddy!!! So, I look for the second largest slice and lay it right down next to the other.*
I mean, come on people, you know you've done this before. We can't stand to see things that are not full!! We want the excess, we even believe that we need it, or that it's wrong for something to only be half full...or empty, depending on your state of mind.
I feel a little crazy or OCD sometimes because it actually bothers me when something isn't as full as it's supposed to be. It looks like the job is only half done!! For instance, when I go running and I come back and I'm jonesing for some sort fo food, I now reach for an apple, the healthier choice. (Who am I kidding, I never went running before!! :) ) But I can't just cut my apple into four pieces because it doesn't fill up my plate and I'm still hungry afterward. Instead I'll cut it up into little slices so that my plate looks fuller and this makes me more satisfied after I'm done. I mean, is that crazy?!? Maybe it's a good tactic, because it gets me to where I want to be, but I also want to get out of the mind set of needing everything to be full all the time.
This week I have been trying to make myself stop all the craziness. When I fill up my coffee cup in the morning, I measure out my creamer and I don't have to fill my cup up to the brim. If I get a bowl of cereal, I don't have to fill the bowl with cereal, and then fill the spaces with milk. I was handling the situation with getting smaller bowls and plates and going ahead and filling those up, but then I feel like I'm just feeding my own addictive habit.
Basically, I want to be addicted to new things.
I want to be addicted to the gym, sports bras, running shoes. I want to be addicted to sweat and how I feel after a long workout. I want to be addicted to seeing the numbers drop on my scale, and I want to be addicted to where I want to be and then staying there. If I really want "the best" then I want to be addicted to wanting the best me that I can have, and less crap I don't need!!
I saw a quote the other day on pinterest.com and I loved it!! I have been telling myself this every day. When I have a craving I remind myself that, "Your body is not a waste basket....don't treat it like one." This really hit home with me. Our bodies are a temple (1 Cor. 6:19 - Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?). We should not put trash into our bodies that we know darn well harm us or make us less than what we can be. I have been looking through the old testament and looking at the care and rules that the priests had to follow to keep the temple up to standard. We should treat our bodies the same way. Clean it up, get it in shape, and treat it with the respect that we should. We only get one body, why treat it like a dump?!?
Last thing: James and I just finished the last work out of the first week in C25K and we both did really well!! We are not going to skip a day tomorrow like we're supposed to because we skipped three this week (meh) to finish up today. Tomorrow we start the run 2 min walk 2 min workout. Wish us luck!!!
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